


Forget-Me(-Not)

by schneefink



Category: The Gardener's Hand - Felicia Davin
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, memory manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 06:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneefink/pseuds/schneefink
Summary: "What if I can't restore your memory?"





	Forget-Me(-Not)

**Author's Note:**

> For the h/c-bingo square "amnesia."  
> Thanks to Dolorosa for the help.

"Are you sure?" Alizhan asked abruptly, an hour after they'd discussed the plan, and hugged a pillow to her chest.

They'd returned to the house of Mar's mistress. Mar didn't know that that's where they were staying because it was safer this way, just in case Iriyat met up with him earlier and got suspicious, but Alizhan was sure that he would be fine with it if he knew. Besides, the sofa was very comfortable.

"Yes," Thiyo said. He put aside the pamphlets he'd been reading (still slowly, which she politely pretended not to notice, but he was getting faster) to give her his full attention.

"Are you sure you don't want to think about it a bit more?" She bit her lip.

"I'm sure. You know that."

She did, of course. She'd felt his shock when she'd explained the plan, then his fear, then resignation, then determination. "Yes."

"You said it yourself, it's the best plan we have. Why the sudden doubt?"

Alizhan looked away. "What if I can't restore your memory?"

She felt his spike of alarm, but it abated quickly. "You've done it before," he pointed out. "For me, even. And your father, and Mar. So there's no need-"

"But what if it's not the same? You ate nightvine shortly before Merat took some of your memories, and she didn't take a lot anyway. And I don't know how well it worked with my father – I never knew him and then Iriyat killed him. And Iriyat still needs Mar, so she must have been very careful with him. What if she's less careful with you? What if Ket takes too much, and then Iriyat takes more, and I can't fix it?" It would be her fault. She imagined Thiyo looking like her father had, his mind empty, and shuddered.

"Alizhan." Thiyo took her hands in his. "I trust you."

"That's nice, but that's not the point," Alizhan said, glowering. "I don't trust myself." But she didn't pull her hands away.

Thiyo smiled, and then quickly became serious again. "I'd be lying if I said that the thought of permanently losing my memory wasn't scary." He was thinking of Merat now, and wondering if Merat had ever erased some of his memories before without him noticing, or Ilyr's. How long had she been manipulating them? Alizhan wanted to tell him that she'd look and try to fix that too, if it had happened, but Thiyo raised an eyebrow like he didn't want her to interrupt and she subsided. "But it's just memory. I'd still be me. I lost all language, that was the scariest thing that ever happened to me, and you helped with that." 

"But without your memories, you wouldn't be the same you."

"No." There was a flash of wondering who he would have become if he'd never met Ilyr, never left the islands, but he suppressed it quickly. "But I'd still be a version of me. I'd have to get to know you and Ev again, but I'm sure I'd fall for you just the same. You're very charming, after all," he said with a wink.

"And vice versa," Alizhan said, and only noticed that he'd tensed when he relaxed at that. "But it wouldn't be the same."

"No, it wouldn't be. But it's not going to be an issue, because you're going to bring my memory back, and Ev's too. I know you can do it."

Alizhan exhaled.

"This is the best plan we have to rescue Ev and expose Iriyat," Thiyo said. "It will work."

"I thought of just stealing Ev," Alizhan confessed. "It wouldn't be that difficult. I could break in, and I could get her to come with me. I could do it right now."

For a moment, Thiyo was as tempted by the idea as she was. "We won't be safe as long as Iriyat still has power," he pointed out, not without regret.

"I know that." Alizhan sighed. "I just wish we could get her back faster."

"Yeah."

"Just a few more triads."

And Thiyo and Ev would spend most of them with Iriyat, who could do anything she wanted with them. The only guarantee they had that she wouldn't do them permanent harm was because Iriyat still wanted Alizhan to return to her, and she knew that Alizhan would never forgive her for hurting Ev and Thiyo. Alizhan had reminded herself of this several times, and she was certain enough of it to go ahead with the plan, but not certain enough not to be anxious about it. If things went wrong, she could lose the two people who meant the most to her in the entire world.

"It's going to work," Thiyo said, and he was so sure that for a moment, Alizhan believed it completely.


End file.
